I really like the way you used background information and the narrator’s voice to make me feel empathy with your main character. You leave me wanting to know more about him , this is the sign of a talented writer!
Very good idea and you make the reader feel empathy with the main character.
Some areas do not make sense like where you wrote:
‘for food to live on and we struggle with there jobs a lot.’
I enjoyed reading this because of the impression of suspense the text gives you . This is a way to look at text from a different perspective, an amazing hook to the storyline and leaves the reader wanting to know more. The use of a short punchy sentence really helps convey the mood of the text.
Hi Rayyan,
I really like the way you used background information and the narrator’s voice to make me feel empathy with your main character. You leave me wanting to know more about him , this is the sign of a talented writer!
Next time make sure your tenses are consistent
.
Keep up the great work
Mrs Moore
Very good idea and you make the reader feel empathy with the main character.
Some areas do not make sense like where you wrote:
‘for food to live on and we struggle with there jobs a lot.’
Hi Ray,
I enjoyed reading this because of the impression of suspense the text gives you . This is a way to look at text from a different perspective, an amazing hook to the storyline and leaves the reader wanting to know more. The use of a short punchy sentence really helps convey the mood of the text.
Zara