Remember to check your tenses – if you start in the Past Tense, you should carry on using it so that all your story happens in the past. Your story needs a little more punctuation too.
Well done, and keep up the good work!
Sarah Team 100WC
Montpellier, France
Hi Zaynab,
Your writing is quite descriptive. I liked the sentence, “The road was as dark as a burnt charcoal.” It was a good comparison.
Here’s a tip, when you write try to show and not tell. For example, don’t tell us it is creepy and scary, try to show it. Use all your senses to try to show it.
Keep up the good work!
Theresa
Team 100WC
Wisconsin, USA
Hello Zaynab,
This is a lovely descriptive piece of writing. Your phrase ‘The sky was a mist of doom…’ works particularly well.
Remember to check your tenses – if you start in the Pa
Sorry, pressed the wrong key!
Remember to check your tenses – if you start in the Past Tense, you should carry on using it so that all your story happens in the past. Your story needs a little more punctuation too.
Well done, and keep up the good work!
Sarah Team 100WC
Montpellier, France
Hi Zaynab,
Your writing is quite descriptive. I liked the sentence, “The road was as dark as a burnt charcoal.” It was a good comparison.
Here’s a tip, when you write try to show and not tell. For example, don’t tell us it is creepy and scary, try to show it. Use all your senses to try to show it.
Keep up the good work!
Theresa
Team 100WC
Wisconsin, USA
Oooh, Nice work, Zaynab. This hooked me from the start. Just, as always, read your work before you publish 🙂