Hi Noha. You have chosen some brilliant words for your story, such as ‘whispered’, ‘proudly’ and ‘petrified’ – well done. I think your story would have sounded better if you had used this week’s prompt in the middle of it. The sentence starting with ‘once’ should have been your first one. You need to study the use of commas and semi-colons next so that you can place them correctly in your writing.
Thank you for entering this week’s challenge and keep up the good effort.
Mrs Johnson, Team 100
Northampton
An amazing story Noha, I like the surprise in the ending! Although, you have made some little mistakes, for example a capital letter for the beginning of a sentence like once is Once. Well Done.
Hi Noha. You have chosen some brilliant words for your story, such as ‘whispered’, ‘proudly’ and ‘petrified’ – well done. I think your story would have sounded better if you had used this week’s prompt in the middle of it. The sentence starting with ‘once’ should have been your first one. You need to study the use of commas and semi-colons next so that you can place them correctly in your writing.
Thank you for entering this week’s challenge and keep up the good effort.
Mrs Johnson, Team 100
Northampton
An amazing story Noha, I like the surprise in the ending! Although, you have made some little mistakes, for example a capital letter for the beginning of a sentence like once is Once. Well Done.
From Sara