aadeeb week 12

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2 Responses to aadeeb week 12

  1. nanand says:

    Great stuff Aadeeb! I love how you created a mood through your careful word choices and your cliffhanger. Think about how you could avoid repeating pronouns.

  2. Mrs Scharf says:

    Aadeeb,

    I really enjoyed reading your story Aadeeb. You have included a range of noun groups to build a strong image for the reader. I would encourage you now to go back and edit your work. You have written a strong piece that needs more punctuation, especially around your dialogue. Check that you have put commas in the necessary positions. Keep up your great writing Aadeeb.
    Mrs Scharf
    Team 100wc
    Australia

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