good work you plan is amazing good work
this is very good but your lines are too far apart.
great work of making the reader want to know more of what happened. maybe put more description instead of speech:D
Your use of the word ‘unenthusiastically’ set the scene right from the start and reading on, it’s no wonder poor AJ feels so flat. This is such a sad story.
Thanks for sharing this emotional writing.
Jackie (team 100WC)
Thank you very much, I appreciate your feedback.
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