This is your best response to the challenge yet and an absolutely cracking good read! I can see you really thought about your punctuation and used some fabulous description to draw me in.
Keep checking the spelling.
Mrs Moore
Excellent, engaging writing, Oliver! Never thought you have this talent. You maintain the tension and engage your reader very well. I look forward reading some of your longer little stories!
Your Mum
Engaging writing, Oliver! Never thought you have this talent. You maintain the tension and engage your reader very well. I look forward reading some of your longer little stories!
Your Mum
Oliver, I really enjoyed this piece, your varied use of words and keeping your readers interest.
Hope you will show me more of your writing in the future
Your Mum
Hi Oliver,
This is great. I particularly like the way you have used varying lengths of sentences to move the narrative quickly forward, then, slow the reader down to add in detail and tension. I love this phrase: ” We were lost it a maze of bricks and cobblestone.”
Keep up the good work, I look forward to reading your next piece.
Best wishes
Mr Lea
Hi Oliver,
This is your best response to the challenge yet and an absolutely cracking good read! I can see you really thought about your punctuation and used some fabulous description to draw me in.
Keep checking the spelling.
Mrs Moore
Excellent, engaging writing, Oliver! Never thought you have this talent. You maintain the tension and engage your reader very well. I look forward reading some of your longer little stories!
Your Mum
Engaging writing, Oliver! Never thought you have this talent. You maintain the tension and engage your reader very well. I look forward reading some of your longer little stories!
Your Mum
Oliver, I really enjoyed this piece, your varied use of words and keeping your readers interest.
Hope you will show me more of your writing in the future
Your Mum
Oliver, i loved reading this piece, really exciting read!
Keep up, dont stop writing!Mum
Hi Oliver,
This is great. I particularly like the way you have used varying lengths of sentences to move the narrative quickly forward, then, slow the reader down to add in detail and tension. I love this phrase: ” We were lost it a maze of bricks and cobblestone.”
Keep up the good work, I look forward to reading your next piece.
Best wishes
Mr Lea