Hi Andrei,
This was a great way to include all the words in the prompt. I can see a real improvement in your writing and your grammatical accuracy. Your next step is to try and use precise detail so your reader gets a clear picture in their mind.
Hi Andrei
Well done using all the words in your prompt. Your description of your day at the zoo was interesting. I can only imagine how boring it would be to have a week of rain!
Mrs P (Team 100WC)
Wellington, New Zealand
This is a really interesting story, Andrei. You managed to get the prompt words in to your story so well. I particularly like the bit at the end when you ask your reader a direct question. It makes it feel like you are having a chat with me!
Hello Andrei, I’m glad you told me it was a cactus that you saw, because I would never have been able to guess. Great way to engage your reader in your story. I liked how you described the different weather conditions and explained why you had to go inside and saw the plants. Well done.
Hi Andrei,
This was a great way to include all the words in the prompt. I can see a real improvement in your writing and your grammatical accuracy. Your next step is to try and use precise detail so your reader gets a clear picture in their mind.
Mrs M
Hi Andrei
Well done using all the words in your prompt. Your description of your day at the zoo was interesting. I can only imagine how boring it would be to have a week of rain!
Mrs P (Team 100WC)
Wellington, New Zealand
This is a really interesting story, Andrei. You managed to get the prompt words in to your story so well. I particularly like the bit at the end when you ask your reader a direct question. It makes it feel like you are having a chat with me!
Hello Andrei, I’m glad you told me it was a cactus that you saw, because I would never have been able to guess. Great way to engage your reader in your story. I liked how you described the different weather conditions and explained why you had to go inside and saw the plants. Well done.