You started your story well by letting the reader know you were all alone. This sets up suspense for something to happen. You had some good ideas but you ran out of words to tell about them. Perhaps you could have started the action sooner (after the creak or the scream in the middle of the night).
Keep up the good work!
This is an interesting story, James. I like how you create an atmosphere with some interesting vocabulary like ‘creak.’
Make sure you’re extra careful with your punctuation… remember to use capital letters correctly, I know you can!
Mr H.
James, I really like your story, but remember all “i” should be capital.
Keep up the good work.
Tom Smith (Team 100WC)
You started your story well by letting the reader know you were all alone. This sets up suspense for something to happen. You had some good ideas but you ran out of words to tell about them. Perhaps you could have started the action sooner (after the creak or the scream in the middle of the night).
Keep up the good work!