Well done on entering this week’s 100WC! I like how you have used lots of onomatopoeia near the start – ZAP! You have used well-placed dialogue that is punctuated correctly with quotation marks. Great job! Your description has made some very vivid imagery for the reader. This is hard to do in 100 words, so well done again.
I can see a couple of small errors in spelling and punctuation, so don’t forget to proofread! Perhaps get a friend to help you!
Keep writing,
Best wishes,
Ms. Toal,
Dublin, Ireland.
Brilliant Sachien, you really created a tense atmosphere through all of your description and your use of questions drew me in even further! I can’t wait to find out what happens next. Next time make sure to proof read before you publish.
Miss A
Hello Sachien,
Well done on entering this week’s 100WC! I like how you have used lots of onomatopoeia near the start – ZAP! You have used well-placed dialogue that is punctuated correctly with quotation marks. Great job! Your description has made some very vivid imagery for the reader. This is hard to do in 100 words, so well done again.
I can see a couple of small errors in spelling and punctuation, so don’t forget to proofread! Perhaps get a friend to help you!
Keep writing,
Best wishes,
Ms. Toal,
Dublin, Ireland.
Wow, this is very exciting to read! I like the way you have used dialogue. I really want to know what happens next! Mrs Coop, Mead School
Brilliant Sachien, you really created a tense atmosphere through all of your description and your use of questions drew me in even further! I can’t wait to find out what happens next. Next time make sure to proof read before you publish.
Miss A
Nice description and like the way you used the onamatopia.
from your good friend aadeeb