Adeeba ,you’ve used the words well in your story and have sequenced events well. Now think about how you can add excitement or action to your story to make it more interesting for your reader.
Miss A
This is great Adeeba. You have written beautiful sentences which are punctuated perfectly, especially your speech! You have started sentences in a range of ways, I really like how you start a sentence with carefully. To improve, try to think of other time adverbials to start a sentece with not just after. I really enjoyed this, thank you Adeeba.
Adeeba ,you’ve used the words well in your story and have sequenced events well. Now think about how you can add excitement or action to your story to make it more interesting for your reader.
Miss A
This is great Adeeba. You have written beautiful sentences which are punctuated perfectly, especially your speech! You have started sentences in a range of ways, I really like how you start a sentence with carefully. To improve, try to think of other time adverbials to start a sentece with not just after. I really enjoyed this, thank you Adeeba.