Well done, Zain.
You have a very interesting idea for a story here and have included some good details. Your sentences are clear but be sure to read and check: there is a phrase repeated in the middle. Also, be careful to stick to past tense for stories.
Good work though – keep it up!
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Well done, Zain.
You have a very interesting idea for a story here and have included some good details. Your sentences are clear but be sure to read and check: there is a phrase repeated in the middle. Also, be careful to stick to past tense for stories.
Good work though – keep it up!