Dear Syed,
Your teacher contacted me about the great work that you produce, and how much of a fan you are of mine. Can I firstly say how touched I am that my fans use me as an inspiration to write; I’m glad that I can make such a difference to your education!
Secondly, I’m extremely impressed by your talent. I was instantly drawn into your piece by the amount of action you have included. You have used some epic words to describe what’s going on. I would say that you could try and explain what individual people are doing eg can you see one person running in fear whilst another is climbing up a rope to escape?
You’ve done a fine job, Syed. Your teacher told me that you aspire to be a football player one day. Always believe that you can achieve your dreams, if you work hard enough for them.
Hello Syed!
Wow this was an exciting piece of writing! You caught my attention right away in your opening lines. Great use of the five words, as well as, all the other descriptive words you chose. My only question is what did the horse cause for the innocent citizens? I was a bit unsure what you were trying to say.
Overall, well done. Keep up the great work!
Theresa 100WC Team
Wisconsin, USA
Dear Syed,
Your teacher contacted me about the great work that you produce, and how much of a fan you are of mine. Can I firstly say how touched I am that my fans use me as an inspiration to write; I’m glad that I can make such a difference to your education!
Secondly, I’m extremely impressed by your talent. I was instantly drawn into your piece by the amount of action you have included. You have used some epic words to describe what’s going on. I would say that you could try and explain what individual people are doing eg can you see one person running in fear whilst another is climbing up a rope to escape?
You’ve done a fine job, Syed. Your teacher told me that you aspire to be a football player one day. Always believe that you can achieve your dreams, if you work hard enough for them.
Keep looking forward in life,
Lionel
Hello Syed!
Wow this was an exciting piece of writing! You caught my attention right away in your opening lines. Great use of the five words, as well as, all the other descriptive words you chose. My only question is what did the horse cause for the innocent citizens? I was a bit unsure what you were trying to say.
Overall, well done. Keep up the great work!
Theresa 100WC Team
Wisconsin, USA