Hi Zahrah,
I really like the way you organised your poem, you have some really thought-provoking imagery and used emotions well.
Next time try to focus more on meaning than rhyme, it will make it powerful all the way through.
Well done
Mrs M
Quite an imaginative attempt. I was quite tempted to see some verses rhyme. E.g.
It smells like heaven
its my secret raisin
as it is delicious and sweet
Hi Zahrah,
I really like the way you organised your poem, you have some really thought-provoking imagery and used emotions well.
Next time try to focus more on meaning than rhyme, it will make it powerful all the way through.
Well done
Mrs M
Hi Zahrah
Your work is awesome
your work doesn’t always have to rhme though
otherwise your work is amazing!
Quite an imaginative attempt. I was quite tempted to see some verses rhyme. E.g.
It smells like heaven
its my secret raisin
as it is delicious and sweet
Hope to see more daring attempts. Well done!
I like the way you have made it rhyme and its very good
Well done
like the poem (adamz 5a)
your work is awesome . I like the way you have made it rhyme.