the ending of the dark

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8 Responses to the ending of the dark

  1. ravir says:

    I loved the way you used many rhetorical questions and remember to put inverted commas in the right places.

    Rithika

  2. ghirl says:

    well done you have used puntcutaion but you need to work on your description

  3. ghirl says:

    well done you have used description now you need to make sence

  4. gondr says:

    well done, you used special words to create an atmosphere
    I hate to be picky but when you wrote un-expectingly without a capital!
    so……
    I would saycheck your work carefully
    Rhia

  5. ghirl says:

    you missed a capital letter but well done you done great description

  6. yagna says:

    well done you have separated your paragraphs well 🙁 🙁

  7. kulok says:

    Lovely atmosphere the setting description puts me into Laszlo’s shoes which gives a variety of sympathetic feelings and emotions for him my tummy slightly tickled towards the end within the portal but next time try using your literacy devices within your excellent story. Good job and keep up the good work. Sincerely and kind regards Kaaruni

  8. khanl says:

    Well done you have used powerful words. Next time check your work carefully.

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