Star-Wow Janna, I was blown away when I read your story.
Star-You have used punctuation which creates suspense.
Wish-Next time to improve your work by splitting up your paragraphs to make your work clear for the reader
Somran
Great emotive piece of writing Janna, you have used the success criteria well. You have described what happened next and described Mary’s appearance ( old lady ). Next time try to add extended active verbs and higher level verbs to show actions and movement of the characters. 🙂
Star-Wow Janna, I was blown away when I read your story.
Star-You have used punctuation which creates suspense.
Wish-Next time to improve your work by splitting up your paragraphs to make your work clear for the reader
Somran
Great emotive piece of writing Janna, you have used the success criteria well. You have described what happened next and described Mary’s appearance ( old lady ). Next time try to add extended active verbs and higher level verbs to show actions and movement of the characters. 🙂