Great story Sophia, it was very spine-chilling and frightening. Star: It sounded better when you added the alliteration which was fantastic! Wish: you could of added more punctuation because you missed some punctuation that you could of added; you could of added more figurative language to make your story even more terrifying.
Great story Sophia, it was very spine-chilling and frightening. Star: It sounded better when you added the alliteration which was fantastic! Wish: you could of added more punctuation because you missed some punctuation that you could of added; you could of added more figurative language to make your story even more terrifying but apart from that, your work was absolutely out-standing.
This is a great little tale, well done. I love the idea of midnight ice cream runs to the shop. Next time, just check before publishing that you have not made any small typing errors and that the complete story flows with each sentence.
I like your story! I like the descriptive language like cluster, but just to improve you don’t need to use that word twice you could use a different word.
From Sara
Great story Sophia, it was very spine-chilling and frightening. Star: It sounded better when you added the alliteration which was fantastic! Wish: you could of added more punctuation because you missed some punctuation that you could of added; you could of added more figurative language to make your story even more terrifying.
Great story Sophia, it was very spine-chilling and frightening. Star: It sounded better when you added the alliteration which was fantastic! Wish: you could of added more punctuation because you missed some punctuation that you could of added; you could of added more figurative language to make your story even more terrifying but apart from that, your work was absolutely out-standing.
This is a great little tale, well done. I love the idea of midnight ice cream runs to the shop. Next time, just check before publishing that you have not made any small typing errors and that the complete story flows with each sentence.
hi thank you for the comment. I like your advice and I will improve it more with the typing errors . thank you for your response from sophia
I like it about because there’s a problem In the middle
I like your story! I like the descriptive language like cluster, but just to improve you don’t need to use that word twice you could use a different word.
From Sara