you have added a rhetorical question
I liked it when it said ” which could just be noticed by faint glow of the light flickering”
next time add more connectives 🙂
Star*- Zainab, your writing really gave a vivid image of what was happening in Mary’s life. The work helps the reader to relate tones of emotions. Your work was a page turner and your work never fails to impress.
Star*- Your work is very intriguing and your metaphor ” Today has been a rollercoaster since I killed Patrick” this metaphor was a higher level sentence and made your writing that more exciting.
Wish – Try to use cohesive devices and higher level punctuation such as semi-colons.
you have added a rhetorical question
I liked it when it said ” which could just be noticed by faint glow of the light flickering”
next time add more connectives 🙂
Star*- Zainab, your writing really gave a vivid image of what was happening in Mary’s life. The work helps the reader to relate tones of emotions. Your work was a page turner and your work never fails to impress.
Star*- Your work is very intriguing and your metaphor ” Today has been a rollercoaster since I killed Patrick” this metaphor was a higher level sentence and made your writing that more exciting.
Wish – Try to use cohesive devices and higher level punctuation such as semi-colons.