imaan the bush p1

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14 Responses to imaan the bush p1

  1. nanand says:

    Well done Imaan, you really used repetition well to make me wonder what happened to the boys. Remember to watch your spelling of homophones; their/there or no/know.
    Miss A

  2. karea says:

    This is a great piece of writing just remember you don’t always need font.
    This is Anjali from 5A ♥

  3. chows says:

    Hi Imaan!

    I really like your story and that its full of adventure next time just add more adjectives

    P.S i would pick you as a winner

    By Sadia 5A :]

  4. mahms says:

    An amazing tale I like how you have used particular words to create tension and atmosphere. I have noticed in one sentence you have put a capital ‘D’. For this sentence you do not need a capital d. Well done!
    From Sara 🙂

  5. socai says:

    I like how you used gloomy at the start, but it is 107 words.

  6. alfan says:

    Great work Imaan! You had some really fantastic descriptive language which hooked me up as your story was absolutely amazing to read. You must remember that !!! or ??? is not punctuation but other than that I enjoyed reading your story.
    From: Noha 5A

  7. gandz says:

    Imaan great work, just check some missing punctuation such as won’t.:P Zaeem

  8. tasik says:

    Good story Imaan, I like how you described the night with gloomy because its makes the picture in my head.
    Karolinaaa :3

  9. amina says:

    Hi, Imaan. Adeeba here. I really liked your repetition but check your spelling. Signing out.

  10. Catherine Coop says:

    Hi I like what pupils at Gearies are doing with their blogging. Your work is interesting to read, but maybe you could use a few less !!!
    London class in Yr 3 have just published some writing about their climbing wall experiences- maybe you could take a look and see what you think? Mrs Coop. Mead School, Harold Hill

  11. ahmez says:

    Hi Imaan I like your story a lot because its very descriptive and has good vocabulary and I also like the way you described the setting

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