Hi Imani – I really enjoyed reading your entry for this week’s 100wc. You’ve written such a powerful story and hooked the reader in right from the very start with your use of powerful vocabulary and different types and lengths of sentence. I wonder what she had done, do you know? Just make sure that you read your work through before posting it as your ending doesn’t quite make sense. Thank you for sharing your writing with us 🙂
Hello Imani,
I am captivated by your story. I can visualize Robbie right from the beginning. You create amazing images of her as she “scurried along” with her “shawl pulled tightly around her shoulders”, she “shivered violently” and “looked hopefully up at a sinister moon.” Your writing evokes profound feelings in the reader by showing us how Robbie presses on and expresses her own feelings. The turning point of the story, when Robbie “bursts into tears” and “The sky became crimson; her tears glowing in the early morning sun”, reveals Robbie’s transformation. She has become a bold, independent hero!
Take a look at your last line and make sure it is clear to the reader.
Thank you, Irene, for the very sweet comment. However, I have made a mistake, and hope to not make the same one as I did last time 🙂 thank you, Imani
Hi Imani – I really enjoyed reading your entry for this week’s 100wc. You’ve written such a powerful story and hooked the reader in right from the very start with your use of powerful vocabulary and different types and lengths of sentence. I wonder what she had done, do you know? Just make sure that you read your work through before posting it as your ending doesn’t quite make sense. Thank you for sharing your writing with us 🙂
Cool story Imani, I like how you have used particular words. Well done!
From Sara 🙂
Hello Imani,
I am captivated by your story. I can visualize Robbie right from the beginning. You create amazing images of her as she “scurried along” with her “shawl pulled tightly around her shoulders”, she “shivered violently” and “looked hopefully up at a sinister moon.” Your writing evokes profound feelings in the reader by showing us how Robbie presses on and expresses her own feelings. The turning point of the story, when Robbie “bursts into tears” and “The sky became crimson; her tears glowing in the early morning sun”, reveals Robbie’s transformation. She has become a bold, independent hero!
Take a look at your last line and make sure it is clear to the reader.
Congratulations on a beautiful piece of writing!
Irene
Thank you, Irene, for the very sweet comment. However, I have made a mistake, and hope to not make the same one as I did last time 🙂 thank you, Imani