Wow! What an incredible last line Jayanna. An excellent emotive way to get your message across to your reader and remind them of the importance of remembering. Well done. Lets work at using more grown up vocabulary
Wow Jayanna, you got lots of emotion in that piece of writing. It was a good idea to describe the setting as well. I especially liked how you linked your first and last sentences, and your last sentence is very powerful. Keep up the great writing.
Nicola Richardson, team 100wc, Tyne and Wear, UK
Hi Jayanna,
I think your parents would always remember you, no matter where you were but I can imagine wondering about that if you had to leave them, especially for something so risky as war. Your writing is emotive so well done for that. Maybe now look to see if you can make your word choices richer and more expressive.
Keep writing and sharing!
Mary (Team 100WC)
Australia
Hi Jayanna,
I like the way that you used lots of emotive language.
You have also made it a sad ending and very moving.
Next time remember punctuation.
By: Prithikaa :)!
Wow! What an incredible last line Jayanna. An excellent emotive way to get your message across to your reader and remind them of the importance of remembering. Well done. Lets work at using more grown up vocabulary
Wow Jayanna, you got lots of emotion in that piece of writing. It was a good idea to describe the setting as well. I especially liked how you linked your first and last sentences, and your last sentence is very powerful. Keep up the great writing.
Nicola Richardson, team 100wc, Tyne and Wear, UK
Hi Jayanna,
I think your parents would always remember you, no matter where you were but I can imagine wondering about that if you had to leave them, especially for something so risky as war. Your writing is emotive so well done for that. Maybe now look to see if you can make your word choices richer and more expressive.
Keep writing and sharing!
Mary (Team 100WC)
Australia
Hi Jayanna,
I like the way that you used lots of emotive language.
You have also made it a sad ending and very moving.
Next time remember punctuation.
By: Prithikaa :)!
hiya jayanna I really think your work was great and emotional.
also remember your full stops at the end.
think about how you could make it better.
hi Jayanna,
I really was impressed my your work i espellay liked your question. well done.
by:lakshithaa sutharsan