I really like the way you used thoughts and description to draw me into your writing. Next time make sure you check your tenses as your jumping between past and present, which can be confusing.
I want to know what ‘it’ is. You leave me wanting to know more which is the sign of a talented writer.
Dear Yusuf,
You left me hanging! Now I want to know what “it” is! Good job getting me interested in what you had to say. I could picture your garden because of your description.
Hi Yusuf,
I really like the way you used thoughts and description to draw me into your writing. Next time make sure you check your tenses as your jumping between past and present, which can be confusing.
I want to know what ‘it’ is. You leave me wanting to know more which is the sign of a talented writer.
Keep it up
Mrs Moore
Dear Yusuf,
You left me hanging! Now I want to know what “it” is! Good job getting me interested in what you had to say. I could picture your garden because of your description.
Keep writing!
Mrs. Silver
Team 100
Illinois, USA