Hello Jabir, I really like how you tried to show how your characters were feeling in this story. I think it was good how you used dialogue. You might set punctuation of dialogue as a future goal, though. You also used some great words to create excitement in your story. Words like “suddenly” and “yelled” work really well.
Oh wow Jabir, you’ve included lots of interesting action
Hello Jabir, I really like how you tried to show how your characters were feeling in this story. I think it was good how you used dialogue. You might set punctuation of dialogue as a future goal, though. You also used some great words to create excitement in your story. Words like “suddenly” and “yelled” work really well.