Wow Rayyan, what a bleak situation you have created from the picture! Your clever use of vocabulary has created a clear atmosphere for your reader. Well done.
Keep up the great writing.
Mrs M
Hello Rayyan, it’s lovely when the sun shines but when it gets too hot it can cause so much damage. You have shown what could happen if it was to go to the extreme. Having the sun moving at rapid speed worked so well as it created the picture of it being a living, destructible being. Using the word “puny” for humans showed the absolute strength of the sun. I think it worked well too that you left it to my imagination what was going to happen and didn’t actually describe the end. It made it seem more painful and drawn out. Well done.
Hi Rayyan,
You are a very talented writer who knows how to use words to paint a picture for the reader. The short sentences you have used give your writing a fast pace which keeps the reader engaged. Well done this week.
Mrs P (Team 100WC)
Wellington, New Zealand
Well done Rayyan .i couldnt look at this perspective before if u haven’t explained like this vividly . Great effort . Looking forward for more piece of work like this
Wow Rayyan, what a bleak situation you have created from the picture! Your clever use of vocabulary has created a clear atmosphere for your reader. Well done.
Keep up the great writing.
Mrs M
Hello Rayyan, it’s lovely when the sun shines but when it gets too hot it can cause so much damage. You have shown what could happen if it was to go to the extreme. Having the sun moving at rapid speed worked so well as it created the picture of it being a living, destructible being. Using the word “puny” for humans showed the absolute strength of the sun. I think it worked well too that you left it to my imagination what was going to happen and didn’t actually describe the end. It made it seem more painful and drawn out. Well done.
Hi Rayyan,
You are a very talented writer who knows how to use words to paint a picture for the reader. The short sentences you have used give your writing a fast pace which keeps the reader engaged. Well done this week.
Mrs P (Team 100WC)
Wellington, New Zealand
Really good stuff Ray, excellent writing!! Keep it up, proud of you 🙂
Another great piece of work. You draw a picture of an absolutely hot unbearable sun. I could imagine myself there. Good job x
The way you described the sun was really detailed and your description emphasised the dangers of climate change.
A very descriptive piece of work.Well done Rayyan!
As an aspiring writer my self I commend young rayyyyan on his excellent use of vocabulary, creating a vivid image for the readers.
I am very aspired by your wonderful writing. I would love to see more of your work. You will make a world-renowned author.
Yours sincerely,
David Walliams
Well done Rayyan .i couldnt look at this perspective before if u haven’t explained like this vividly . Great effort . Looking forward for more piece of work like this