Another fantastic piece of writing; you really have a fantastic writer’s voice and drew me in immediately with your wonderful use of language that created a clear mood.. I especially loved your description of the tree. Using capital letters in the right place would make this much easier to read.
Hope you’re well.
This is a great piece. I was drawn to the story when you used the word ‘lumbered’, it was so descriptive and helped me visualise the scene. Capital letters and a bit more punctuation would be so beneficial to add to the story.
Keep up the good work!
Greetings from Australia Oliver. I can see from your writing that you have a very vivid imagination which helps you to generate ideas for your writing. I liked your choice of words like lumbered, as well as the way you included how you were feeling. I think you could improve your writing by asking a friend to help you edit. Correct punctuation help your reader to appreciate your writing.
Oliver, your writing by is really engaging, I really enjoyed reading it.
Also have to say I agree with previous comments that better proofreading, correct punctuation would make it sooo much more professional!
Great work- pay a little more attention next time
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