Congratulations on your response to this week’s challenge. I love the message of your writing that one person’s actions can be very powerful. I can see the effort you have put into choice of precise vocabulary to provide details for the reader. A good strategy for a writer is to read your writing aloud so you can hear where punctuation should go. (Or you could ask a friend to help you edit.) Accurate punctuation helps your readers to easily understand your text.
What a fabulous story, I love the idea of a sad polar bear being saved. I do agree with the previous comment that you need to proof read before you publish ; I think if you were to re-read this you could make it much better Shayaan.
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