Kia ora Brindan, from New Zealand.
I really like this story because you have used some excellent vocabulary like: HASTILY, ALARMED, and PUZZLED. It is good to see some words which do not appear very often.
Keep up the good writing practice and if you have some time, why not come and visit our class blog at https://rakau19.edublogs.org/
Ms M #100WC
Hello! This was an intriguing story because you kept indicating that something bad might happen; each time I relaxed I was alarmed again. You really set up an urgency in your story. I love that mum and dad were sleeping through all the terror. Well done.
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