Well done Anjali, what a brilliant story that really grabbed me in. I am afraid you did not write in the correct tense. First you put ” Jeremiah” then you put “I”. I was a bit confused, but it was a fabulous story!
You always do your best and your writing is always lovely.
By Ratheena
An amazing tale Anjali, I like how you have used certain words to create a picture in the readers head. I have noticed you have done spaces and then the full stop but you don’t do a space only after the full stop. I have also seen you have changed some of your tense. You used then name and then you wrote I. The thing is you could of done speech marks, then the word I would make more sense. Other then that I think you have done a wonderful job! You should be very proud of yourself.
From Sara ♥
Well done Anjali, what a brilliant story that really grabbed me in. I am afraid you did not write in the correct tense. First you put ” Jeremiah” then you put “I”. I was a bit confused, but it was a fabulous story!
You always do your best and your writing is always lovely.
By Ratheena
An amazing tale Anjali, I like how you have used certain words to create a picture in the readers head. I have noticed you have done spaces and then the full stop but you don’t do a space only after the full stop. I have also seen you have changed some of your tense. You used then name and then you wrote I. The thing is you could of done speech marks, then the word I would make more sense. Other then that I think you have done a wonderful job! You should be very proud of yourself.
From Sara ♥