I like your interesting story because I like how you added four because I think four is a lucky number for friends.
Karolina 5B
Gearies Primary School 2015
An amazing story! I wonder what will happen at the end! You have made it create a lot of mood for the reader! There are some little mistakes like there hands, it is actually their hands as it is their hands. Also our torches you haven’t put a punctuation mark. Also a cold finger touched Alima’s delicate back. You have not put a punctuation mark. On the other hand, it is a fascinating story! You have used a great variation of short sentences. Instead of walked could you use ambled or scampered?
From Sara 😉
I like your interesting story because I like how you added four because I think four is a lucky number for friends.
Karolina 5B
Gearies Primary School 2015
An amazing story! I wonder what will happen at the end! You have made it create a lot of mood for the reader! There are some little mistakes like there hands, it is actually their hands as it is their hands. Also our torches you haven’t put a punctuation mark. Also a cold finger touched Alima’s delicate back. You have not put a punctuation mark. On the other hand, it is a fascinating story! You have used a great variation of short sentences. Instead of walked could you use ambled or scampered?
From Sara 😉