Hi Junior,
This is an awesome piece of writing that has left me wanting to know what happens next! I love the way that you gave me background detail about your character to place him firmly in the world of myths and legends and your use of descriptive language. Next time check your tenses are consistent. Well done.
Mrs M
Amazing description and great sentence openers.
I like how you used lots of description
I liked how you ended it with a cliff hanger
You could improve by showing how your villain was a villain.
wish: cliff hanger could be more interesting
:)I like the different color for each name
:)good description
Hi Junior,
This is an awesome piece of writing that has left me wanting to know what happens next! I love the way that you gave me background detail about your character to place him firmly in the world of myths and legends and your use of descriptive language. Next time check your tenses are consistent. Well done.
Mrs M
What powers does the sceptre of thunder give your demon? Does he have more power than his father and his uncle? I think your writing is very powerful.