Hi arjan I really like your own version of the story it is really great. To improve the story you could maybe add a few more adjectives and similes
Oh my Arjan, what a great introduction to your tale! I love the way you used her senses and feelings to draw me into what was happening. Remember to add commas when you pause. Mrs M
thank you Mrs Moore
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Hi arjan I really like your own version of the story it is really great. To improve the story you could maybe add a few more adjectives and similes
Oh my Arjan, what a great introduction to your tale! I love the way you used her senses and feelings to draw me into what was happening. Remember to add commas when you pause.
Mrs M
thank you Mrs Moore