This is a really interesting piece of text. The descriptions are very vivid and really draw the reader’s attention. I would really like to know what happens next – what a cliffhanger :)!!
Hi Jinan,
You have made some excellent use of descriptive language her and played with punctuation so as to create interesting effects.
Next time think about if all your word choices fit the context in which you have put them.
I enjoyed reading this .
Mrs M
This is a really interesting piece of text. The descriptions are very vivid and really draw the reader’s attention. I would really like to know what happens next – what a cliffhanger :)!!
Wow! Thanks for the feedback. I’ll make sure that next time my work is even better.
Hi Jinan,
You have made some excellent use of descriptive language her and played with punctuation so as to create interesting effects.
Next time think about if all your word choices fit the context in which you have put them.
I enjoyed reading this .
Mrs M
Thank you miss. Next time I’ll definitely think about how I fit the words in to my story.