Star*- Your work is amazing. It had so much detail and so much thought. I could feel everything that Mary was feeling. Your work had so much feeling, it was as if you were Mary
Star*- You had a great tone which was filled with fear, sorrow and tones of different emotions that any person can relate to.
Wish – Try to add more of the interims and maybe some of Mary’s or even some of Patrick’s speech.
Star-well done Prithikaa. I like your introduction.
Star- I like the phrase ‘the words kept repeating in my mind’
Wish- make sure you use higher level vocabulary and edit ‘ but didn’t up after that’. I think you meant but didn’t get up after that.
From Surabhi
S: great description.
S: great words.
W: use more ands,buts
Star*- Your work is amazing. It had so much detail and so much thought. I could feel everything that Mary was feeling. Your work had so much feeling, it was as if you were Mary
Star*- You had a great tone which was filled with fear, sorrow and tones of different emotions that any person can relate to.
Wish – Try to add more of the interims and maybe some of Mary’s or even some of Patrick’s speech.
Star-well done Prithikaa. I like your introduction.
Star- I like the phrase ‘the words kept repeating in my mind’
Wish- make sure you use higher level vocabulary and edit ‘ but didn’t up after that’. I think you meant but didn’t get up after that.
From Surabhi