What a fantastic title to your story Zaeem! I was hooked right from the start! You had a great idea for the story and used fabulous vocabulary which painted a great picture of the action in my head – ‘the dragon blasted a searing flame’ is one of the best descriptions I have read on 100WC this week! To improve next time, remember that 100 words isn’t very much so pick the bits you want to include very carefully and cut out any bits that are not really important to the story so that you can concentrate on the interesting parts. (I think the interesting part of your writing starts with sentence 4 – the earlier part could be cut out or shortened). Thanks so much for sharing your writing though, I really enjoyed reading it and I hope that you keep up the great work! Well done.
Mrs Vaux (Team 100WC, UK)
I think that this is an extremely well crafted tale, good pace, interest and plot. I was left wondering what the herb potion was for, or what magical powers it would give its drinker. I look forward to reading your next tale.
I agree–the title of your entry is really powerful! I thought that your sentence that included the dragon blasting a searing flame from its mouth was your best. You make really good use of descriptive language. Excellent and suspenseful writing, well done!
What a fantastic title to your story Zaeem! I was hooked right from the start! You had a great idea for the story and used fabulous vocabulary which painted a great picture of the action in my head – ‘the dragon blasted a searing flame’ is one of the best descriptions I have read on 100WC this week! To improve next time, remember that 100 words isn’t very much so pick the bits you want to include very carefully and cut out any bits that are not really important to the story so that you can concentrate on the interesting parts. (I think the interesting part of your writing starts with sentence 4 – the earlier part could be cut out or shortened). Thanks so much for sharing your writing though, I really enjoyed reading it and I hope that you keep up the great work! Well done.
Mrs Vaux (Team 100WC, UK)
Thanks Mrs Vaux for your comment, it impressed my teacher and mother. I am working on my next instalment.
I think that this is an extremely well crafted tale, good pace, interest and plot. I was left wondering what the herb potion was for, or what magical powers it would give its drinker. I look forward to reading your next tale.
fantastic work zaeem I especially like the adjectives that you have included in your story
Also very good grammar, punctuation and spelling
Thanks Jan for your kind description, your a real friend.
Hi Zaeem,
I agree–the title of your entry is really powerful! I thought that your sentence that included the dragon blasting a searing flame from its mouth was your best. You make really good use of descriptive language. Excellent and suspenseful writing, well done!
Joe P.
Dublin, Ireland
Thank you for your kind comment Joe, I am very happy that you like my story. I am still working on my next instalment.
Thank you for your kind comment Joe, I am very happy that you like my story. Thank you for describing my work.
hi zaeem I keep reading your work because it is as fantastic