Hi Aman,
I really like the way you used little details to influence my opinion about the prince and give me clues about what was going to happen next. You also made good use of description to emphasise the importance of previous events well; this is the sign of a real writer.
Careful you are mixing past and present; this is a target for you.
I enjoyed reading this.
Mrs M
AMAN I LIKE YOUR ADJECTIVES BUT MAYBE YOU SHOULD USE A LIGHTER COLOUR AND YOU USED SEA TWO TIMES IN ONE SENTENCE
Hi Aman,
I really like the way you used little details to influence my opinion about the prince and give me clues about what was going to happen next. You also made good use of description to emphasise the importance of previous events well; this is the sign of a real writer.
Careful you are mixing past and present; this is a target for you.
I enjoyed reading this.
Mrs M