Hi Pavan
This is a great way to continue the story, you have used dialogue and detail well to move events on and influence my opinion. I especially liked the way you used questions to draw me in further and make think.
Next time make time to edit as you are jumping between past and present.
Keep up the great writing, you clearly have a talent for it.
Mrs M
Hi Pavan
This is a great way to continue the story, you have used dialogue and detail well to move events on and influence my opinion. I especially liked the way you used questions to draw me in further and make think.
Next time make time to edit as you are jumping between past and present.
Keep up the great writing, you clearly have a talent for it.
Mrs M