Adeeba, you’ve included lots of story detail and made good use of dialogue to draw me in but it is a little simple for you; you need to work at using synonyms and varying your sentence starters.
Miss A
Hi Adeeba,thank you for your entry this week, you used the prompt well. Your story was a little stop start and lacked fluency in parts. Make sure you check over your work before submitting it for tenses errors. I loved your cliffhanger it fitted in so well. Keep it up.
Adeeba, you’ve included lots of story detail and made good use of dialogue to draw me in but it is a little simple for you; you need to work at using synonyms and varying your sentence starters.
Miss A
Hi Adeeba,thank you for your entry this week, you used the prompt well. Your story was a little stop start and lacked fluency in parts. Make sure you check over your work before submitting it for tenses errors. I loved your cliffhanger it fitted in so well. Keep it up.