It was a good idea to set your writing on Halloween Nayan, as that is a time when anything can happen! I wonder why the portal appeared, but luckily it did to stop the teenagers attacking them.
Remember to always begin sentences with a capital letter.
Nicola Richardson, team 100wc, Tyne and Wear, UK
Hello Nayan,
You are a good storyteller! I was especially excited by the part about the amazing portal. I like how your character and friends got “sucked in” and found yourselves in the Middle Ages. Oh, how I wish I could see what you saw.
Irene
It was a good idea to set your writing on Halloween Nayan, as that is a time when anything can happen! I wonder why the portal appeared, but luckily it did to stop the teenagers attacking them.
Remember to always begin sentences with a capital letter.
Nicola Richardson, team 100wc, Tyne and Wear, UK
No capital, correct your spelling more adjectives and add better quality verbs although it was a good scene and had perfect punctuation.
Hello Nayan,
You are a good storyteller! I was especially excited by the part about the amazing portal. I like how your character and friends got “sucked in” and found yourselves in the Middle Ages. Oh, how I wish I could see what you saw.
Irene