Oh my goodness Jayanna, what a fabulous response to this week’s prompt! I love your use of the narrator and descriptive language to draw me in. I want to know what happens next.
Remember to watch for missing commas.
Miss A
I really enjoyed your piece of writing Jayanna, a very interesting approach to this weeks prompt! You’ve used some great vocabulary, including some adjectives such as “foul” to help describe the sewers. The openers that you have used really drew me in as a reader, you even included time phrases like “one day” and “The next morning”. Perhaps to help improve next time you could try to vary your connectives, including such words as “but” or “because”.
-Keep up the writing! Miss Moore, Team 100, Lincolnshire, UK.
Dear Jayanna
I really like your story it really drew me in straight from the start . I do agree with miss Anand and miss Moore to . But anyway very well done
From Layla
Oh my goodness Jayanna, what a fabulous response to this week’s prompt! I love your use of the narrator and descriptive language to draw me in. I want to know what happens next.
Remember to watch for missing commas.
Miss A
I really enjoyed your piece of writing Jayanna, a very interesting approach to this weeks prompt! You’ve used some great vocabulary, including some adjectives such as “foul” to help describe the sewers. The openers that you have used really drew me in as a reader, you even included time phrases like “one day” and “The next morning”. Perhaps to help improve next time you could try to vary your connectives, including such words as “but” or “because”.
-Keep up the writing! Miss Moore, Team 100, Lincolnshire, UK.
Dear Jayanna
I really like your story it really drew me in straight from the start . I do agree with miss Anand and miss Moore to . But anyway very well done
From Layla
Jayanna
🙂
well done
Layla 🙂