Alfies last ride by shayaan

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5 Responses to Alfies last ride by shayaan

  1. hussj says:

    Good use of suspense.

  2. chouz1 says:

    It was very detailed and hooked me in . I’m sure it will do exactly the same to other readers.

  3. Mrs Moore says:

    Hi Shayaan,

    I really enjoyed reading this; you used some clever devices to draw your reader in and had a clear message to your story. Next time don’t forget to check your work before you publish for errors.
    Keep up the great writing.
    Mrs Moore

  4. sures says:

    nice story the reason for him writing was really good and that he is late for football training your writing was really good

  5. sures says:

    nice story as well as reason

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