I like how you left your story on a cliff hanger. My feedback would be
Lots of speech and superb detail. The story was fantastic!
Oh wow Jabir! What an exciting read! I really love all the detail that you’ve used to create a picture in my mind. Next time check your punctuation before you publish.
Keep up the great work.
Mrs Moore
Nice work Jabir , I like the Suspence
it would be better if you said why the old man was angry at him other than that it was good
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I like how you left your story on a cliff hanger. My feedback would be
Lots of speech and superb detail. The story was fantastic!
Oh wow Jabir! What an exciting read! I really love all the detail that you’ve used to create a picture in my mind. Next time check your punctuation before you publish.
Keep up the great work.
Mrs Moore
Nice work Jabir , I like the Suspence
it would be better if you said why the old man was angry at him other than that it was good