I really loved reading this , I was hooked in immediately and wanted to know what had happened to your brother.
Next time make sure you take the time to check your punctuation before you publish, reading aloud will help.
Keep up the great work, I can see a talented writer here.
Andrew this is an awesome piece of writing! You made me feel really sad for your brother and what had happened. I agree with the previous comment, take the time to check your capital letters before you hit publish.
Looking forward to seeing what you write next.
Karin Poole
Team 100
USA
very good and try to add different punctuation.
Very descriptive and evocative. It was very interesting and lured me in to read more.
This is very sad story – but your work is amazing!
Such an in depth story.
Darsh
Hi Andrew,
I really loved reading this , I was hooked in immediately and wanted to know what had happened to your brother.
Next time make sure you take the time to check your punctuation before you publish, reading aloud will help.
Keep up the great work, I can see a talented writer here.
Mrs Moore
Andrew this is an awesome piece of writing! You made me feel really sad for your brother and what had happened. I agree with the previous comment, take the time to check your capital letters before you hit publish.
Looking forward to seeing what you write next.
Karin Poole
Team 100
USA
how did he die of a bike crash