Wow! What an emotive way to draw me in! You really made me want to find out about who Lucy was and what had happened to her. I also really like the way you used detail to convey just how sad everyone was feeling; this is something that talented authors do! Next time consider your tenses when you are writing and remember that we use the past perfect ( had + past participle) to talk about the past of the past.
Woah! This was a great story and really reminded me to keep safe on my bike and how things like this affect people. Always read your work before you publish as I can see a few errors. Looking forward to seeing what you write next.
This is a very nice and happy story but please do add more adjectives if you could thank you.
Darsh
It was so good that I could imagine I was there. It was also very descriptive and very detailed
Hi Alessio,
Wow! What an emotive way to draw me in! You really made me want to find out about who Lucy was and what had happened to her. I also really like the way you used detail to convey just how sad everyone was feeling; this is something that talented authors do! Next time consider your tenses when you are writing and remember that we use the past perfect ( had + past participle) to talk about the past of the past.
Keep up the great work.
Mrs Moore
This was very nice story, but I think you should add more adjective.
Shreya
Woah! This was a great story and really reminded me to keep safe on my bike and how things like this affect people. Always read your work before you publish as I can see a few errors. Looking forward to seeing what you write next.
Karin Poole
Team 100
Virginia Beach
USA