Adeeba I can see that this is a lovely piece of writing but they way you have published this makes it really difficult to read. Please think about this next time.
What a owerful beginning. You involved the reader straight away with the terrifying sights and smells. It ws certainly a surprise when the horror became a birthday party and I wasn’t quite clear what was going on. Had your friends used the shipwreck for the do? Were they pretending to be the motionless bodies? If you could explain that a bit more it would be a really striking, startling story.
Adeeba I can see that this is a lovely piece of writing but they way you have published this makes it really difficult to read. Please think about this next time.
What a owerful beginning. You involved the reader straight away with the terrifying sights and smells. It ws certainly a surprise when the horror became a birthday party and I wasn’t quite clear what was going on. Had your friends used the shipwreck for the do? Were they pretending to be the motionless bodies? If you could explain that a bit more it would be a really striking, startling story.
great work adeeba you used so many adjectives and connectives but it is difficualt to read it