Quiet!

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4 Responses to Quiet!

  1. ahmei says:

    An amazing, fabulously created story Alima! I’m quite impressed by this, and I particularly enjoyed the description:
    The wind howled amongst the naked, gusty trees and the delicate stars brightly twinkled and glistened like the sun gleaming, full of bliss. It is an outstanding piece, Alima. Just remember to go over the work, to look for spelling mistakes.

  2. basaa says:

    that is a very eerie atmosphere around the mysterious devil

  3. islas1 says:

    I like how you left it a mystery and the atmosphere was imaged very well I also like how you put in a question well done

  4. Irene McGinty, Team100WC (Watsonville, Ca. U.S.) says:

    Hello Alima,

    Your poetic writing is beautiful and original! You use extraordinary description and vivid verbs to create an unforgettable, mysterious story. Your images are so creative! I love the “the stars…full of bliss”,”black clouds hovered”, “the silence drifted.” I will always remember the line, “It was like someone cursed the sky”.

    You are such a brilliant writer! Be sure to go back after you finish your writing, and read it like you are reader who has never seen the story before. Look for run on sentences. Breaking up some of your sentences with capitalization and punctuation could make your writing even more powerful.

    Irene

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