The phrase ” While the lights glared at me like a dead zombie hovering “is a wonderful phrase because it describes how the lights looked at you. This was an creepy and strange story, It alerted me straight away.
I enjoyed your creative story that captures the mysterious mood of the picture in the 100WC prompt. You use marvelous descriptive language when you personify the lights and the trees: “Those trees wanted to shrivel up until they were bare.” and “the lights glared at me like a dead zombie”. The “lurking shadow” is an original villain. I can understand why your character screamed.
Hey Tea! I really like your piece of writing! You have used a good amount of personification, I think you could’ve used a bit more commas but on the other hand Well Done! From Sara 🙂
This piece has a good use of adverbs and an excellent range of vocabulary. But you could try to add more description.
The first two sentences had created a spooky atmosphere you did , a really good job this piece of writing shows you are great writer.
i like how you set the scene because it creates a atmosphere and its spooky well done!
The phrase ” While the lights glared at me like a dead zombie hovering “is a wonderful phrase because it describes how the lights looked at you. This was an creepy and strange story, It alerted me straight away.
Well Done !
By Alima
Hello Tea,
I enjoyed your creative story that captures the mysterious mood of the picture in the 100WC prompt. You use marvelous descriptive language when you personify the lights and the trees: “Those trees wanted to shrivel up until they were bare.” and “the lights glared at me like a dead zombie”. The “lurking shadow” is an original villain. I can understand why your character screamed.
Irene
Well done Tea you have caught the readers interest,I wonder what happens next.
Hey Tea! I really like your piece of writing! You have used a good amount of personification, I think you could’ve used a bit more commas but on the other hand Well Done! From Sara 🙂