A very descriptive story, and good use of sound effects & speech: ‘cackle’ and ‘nooo’. Next time try to make your verbs as powerful as the rest of the story. Could you use better words for:
Went (marched/whizzed/travelled)
Came (sped/zoomed/marched/rushed)
Took (grabbed/snatched/stole)
A very descriptive story, and good use of sound effects & speech: ‘cackle’ and ‘nooo’. Next time try to make your verbs as powerful as the rest of the story. Could you use better words for:
Went (marched/whizzed/travelled)
Came (sped/zoomed/marched/rushed)
Took (grabbed/snatched/stole)
Keep up the good work!