run Jayanna

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One Response to run Jayanna

  1. Mrsnige says:

    Hello Jayanna

    I like your heading, very striking. I also liked your heavy font. The story itself is full of description and I want to know what happened just before the change. Why was someone stealing credit cards and who changed into a lego figure? Why wasn’t the thief changed instead?
    Perhaps when your main character screamed, this could perhaps have been a new paragraph, with the scream in speech marks.
    I loved the description of the log. I have seen many logs that were smelly and damp!
    Well done.

    Sent from Grantham, Lincolnshire.

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