Hello Lakshithaa,
I really enjoyed your writing as I can picture the scene and the amazement of the characters at seeing the beautiful bird and the three eggs: you have described this well. I like your attempt at varying sentence openers with a simile starter and I like the adverb ‘carelessly’.
Your writing began quite thoughtfully with the description and then turned into action! I was a little confused towards then end, although it turned out to be quite amusing!
I look forward to reading your future writing.
Thank you
Mrs Ward
Hello Lakshithaa,
I really enjoyed your writing as I can picture the scene and the amazement of the characters at seeing the beautiful bird and the three eggs: you have described this well. I like your attempt at varying sentence openers with a simile starter and I like the adverb ‘carelessly’.
Your writing began quite thoughtfully with the description and then turned into action! I was a little confused towards then end, although it turned out to be quite amusing!
I look forward to reading your future writing.
Thank you
Mrs Ward