Hello,
Thank you for sharing your writing this week!
I think you have used the prompt creatively to tell the story of Bob, although I wasn’t expecting the ending (poor Bob!). You have included some effective description in your story such as ‘hungry eyes’ and the verb ‘charging’.
To improve your writing I would suggest that you ask a friend to read it back you, and check whether it all makes sense or if you have missed out words. This might also help to check for whether punctuation has been used in the correct places.
Thank you for sharing your writing!
Mrs Ward
KOBPS, Lincolnshire
Hello,
Thank you for sharing your writing this week!
I think you have used the prompt creatively to tell the story of Bob, although I wasn’t expecting the ending (poor Bob!). You have included some effective description in your story such as ‘hungry eyes’ and the verb ‘charging’.
To improve your writing I would suggest that you ask a friend to read it back you, and check whether it all makes sense or if you have missed out words. This might also help to check for whether punctuation has been used in the correct places.
Thank you for sharing your writing!
Mrs Ward
KOBPS, Lincolnshire