Hi Kerem,
This is another great piece of writing, your clever use of language have created a firm impression in your reader’s mind and have left me wanting to find out more. Try varying punctuation to control your reader more.
Mrs M
You have created a vivid picture of Ballack. More description of his control of plants would strengthen this piece of writing. Ballack seems to have undergone a massive change of personality. Why did this happen to him?
Hi Kerem,
This is another great piece of writing, your clever use of language have created a firm impression in your reader’s mind and have left me wanting to find out more. Try varying punctuation to control your reader more.
Mrs M
You have created a vivid picture of Ballack. More description of his control of plants would strengthen this piece of writing. Ballack seems to have undergone a massive change of personality. Why did this happen to him?